The Truth About Reality
by sendricamp
Summary: AU Bechloe. Chloe discovers there is more to falling in love with Beca than she originally expected.
1. Chapter 1

Chloe hated her job sometimes, like when they had her working midnights. No one came to get waffles at three in the morning, but they needed someone with more than two weeks of experience working. The customers who did show up were drunk frat boys, or truckers, and Jace seemed to take more interest in watching her or Stacie that actually cooking the food. The only thing she found to look forward to was the mysterious girl who always sat in the corner, ordered her hashbrowns covered and drank nothing but water. She was quiet, she always had a book, and she was a good tipper - especially on the nights where the other customers were vocal about their own rudeness.

She couldn't put her finger on it, but there was something about the tiny woman. Her hair was always perfectly pulled back, held up in a tight bun. Her clothes, while usually just a shirt, jeans and some sneakers, seemed almost brand new every single time. She showed up four times a week, always at four in the morning, and always with a smile. She would be gone by five, and Chloe found her thoughts following her home when her shift ended at six. Conversations never seemed to happen with her, it was to the point where she would sit down and Chloe would bring her water, and a few minutes later, her food.

Stacie, who usually had theories about every single person that came in, was drawing nothing but a blank when it came to the mystery woman. She looked too young to be out that late on her own, but there was something about the way she carried herself that made her seem older. Chloe had turned almost as red as her hair the night Stacie walked over to the table and sat down across from the brunette, who set her book down and looked up, a smirk hinting at the corner of her mouth. The redhead moved to the end of the counter, just within earshot.

"Alright, you come in here at the same time almost every single night. You have your book. We know your order. What is your secret? Do you even have a name?" Stacie asked, leaning forward.

The smaller woman matched her pose, the smirk turning into a smile. "If I told you my secret, it wouldn't really be a secret, would it?" she asked. For a split second, Chloe thought she saw those blue eyes turn towards her before she head the voice again. "Beca."

Seemingly pleased, Stacie removed herself from the booth and nudged Chloe as she walked past. The woman - Beca - dropped a twenty on the table and threw a small wave to Chloe as she left. There was something else to the story, and Chloe was bound and determined to figure out what it was. 


	2. Chapter 2

Beca kept her same schedule, Chloe noted, just switched the days around. Stacie said she was coming in on days that Chloe had off, still at four in the morning, still in the almost new clothes, and she had started a new book. When Chloe saw her again, she did have a new book, and her hair was down. The redhead noted that it was just past her shoulders, and had a tendency to curl at the ends, almost framing her face perfectly. Approaching the table slowly, she smiled. "They are moving me off of midnights and putting me on afternoons, starting on Tuesday," she offered. "So someone else is going to have to memorize your order."

She looked up from her book - a tattered copy of Gone With The Wind - and frowned. "What about the other one?" she asked, motioning towards Stacie.

"They are moving her with me. I guess they think we work so well together when there are no customers that they want to see how we do with them," Chloe replied, laughing softly.

"I guess I will just have to start coming in at the end of my day instead of the beginning of it," she said, matter-of-factly. She closed the book, looking thoughtful for a moment.

"I will be here from three in the afternoon until two in the morning, Tuesday through Saturday," she said, writing the times and days on a piece of the order paper and setting it next to the book. "How would one go about finding out a little more about you?" she asked.

Beca smiled - it was so bright, not something expected in such a dark place - and leaned back in her seat. "You could always ask," she replied.

Chloe looked around, noting how Beca was the only customer around, before she sat on the other side of the booth. "How old are you?"

"Nineteen," she said. "You?"

"Nineteen," Chloe replied, a small smile on her face. "You look really young."

"Thank you? I've always been tiny, and I guess my looks just haven't caught up to my age yet. What made you decide that a career at Waffle House was your dream job?" she asked, the dry tone to her voice causing Chloe to laugh.

"It was the only place hiring when I graduated. I go to VSU, so sticking close to home was kind of cool. My parents live down in Florida, just across the state line."

"I went to Pensacola for a few weeks a while back. It was pretty cool," Beca said, taking a drink of her water. "I skipped the whole generic college experience. I decided I like working on things more than I like actual classes," she said, lifting her hands to show that her knuckles were bruised. "Gets a bit rough sometimes, but totally worth it. I'm originally from Portland, Oregon. Been down here for almost two years now."

Chloe hissed, taking in the scars on those small hands. "Looks pretty painful," she laughed. "I think I burnt myself once a day when I first started, but now, you know.. they kind of let me run the place at night."

"I bet you that I can tell you a secret about yourself," Beca said, smirking in that way that made Chloe want to kiss her.

"Oh?"

"You like me."

"Do I?"

"Yeah."

"What makes you think that?"

"Even when there are other customers, you still find the time to always check on me. I see you watching me, and I have been into people before. I know the look."

Chloe sat back, her eyes narrowed. "What if I say you are right?"

"I know I am right, and I think you could take me out," she said, her voice even. "I have Saturday afternoon free, and I don't really get to go out and do much, so you should show me around."

"Demanding."

"You know you want to."

"I didn't say no, did I?"

"That you did not."

"Saturday?"

"Say, twelve hundred?"

Chloe blinked.

"Noon," Beca clarified, the smile crawling across her face again.

Chloe nodded slowly. "Do you know how to get to the theme park outside of town?"

"Yeah."

"Meet me there, tickets are on me," she said, standing up. "And, Beca?"

The woman looked up.

"I'll figure out a secret about you eventually," she said, winking as she back away, stopping when she turned and found Stacie standing in her path. "What?"

"What was that all about?" she asked, her eyebrow raised as Beca dropped a twenty on the table and left, not-so-discreetly tucking the piece of paper in her pocket, book under her arm.

Chloe smirked, moving around the younger woman.

"No, you don't get to just ignore me! You wouldn't even know her name if I hadn't sat down and asked her!" Stacie said, her voice filled with the smile on her face.

"I am taking her to Wild Adventures on Saturday."

"How is it that you manage to snag a chick around here, and I go to all these stupid parties and can't find a single person to actually date?" she asked, leaning against the counter.

Chloe turned. "Do you really want me to answer that?"

"No."

"Didn't think so. I told her we are moving to afternoons, and apparently she is going to come in at the end of her day. What kind of job does she have that getting food at four in the morning is the beginning of the day?"

"Maybe she just has to commute to work and it is easier to get food before she leaves than finding something closer to her workplace?" Stacie offered, rolling her eyes as two truckers came in through the door. "They would sit in my section," she mumbled, throwing on a fake smile before walking to the table. Chloe walked back over to Beca's table, picking up the money and noticing a piece of notebook paper, a note sloppily scribbled on it.

_Chloe; looking forward to Saturday. Here is my cell number, text me when you get there so I know where to look. B._


	3. Chapter 3

Chloe didn't know what prompted her to do it, but as they walked out of the park, her hand slid into Beca's, and she smiled at how right it felt. Beca didn't pull away - she didn't even glance to see what was going on. There was a sleepy smile on her face. "I'm parked way off that way," she said, motioning with her free hand. "I had fun."

"I did, too," Chloe replied, her voice quiet as they faced each other. "I think we need to do this again. Maybe a movie or something," she prodded, winking.

Beca hesitated for a moment, and in that one second, Chloe thought she had blown it, but then the smile was back. "Next Saturday?"

"Twelve hundred?" Chloe asked, smiling proudly at using the term that had confused her three days prior. Beca nodded, leaning forward and placing a kiss on Chloe's cheek.

"I'll call you, I promise," she said, turning and walking the opposite way Chloe had to go. Her fingers went to her cheek, resting on the spot where she had been kissed, feeling her whole body flush. She was falling hard, and she wasn't even sure she wanted to stop it. Beca was still almost a complete mystery, but she had always been determined. Making her way back to her car, she pulled out her phone and texted Stacie that she was on her way over and she had to talk.

-

Sure enough, Tuesday night, Beca strolled into the restaurant, cell phone to her ear, book in hand, looking purely exhausted as she gave Chloe a small wave and took her usual spot. The redhead walked over, catching the tail end of the conversation. "No, I just went back to my room and changed. I'm out getting something to eat. Yeah, I'll see you and the girls at poker tonight," she said. "Bye, dude." Now off the phone, her full attention turned to the woman standing - under normal circumstances too close - next to her. "The usual, ma'am," she said, smiling.

"You look a lot different at the end of your day," Chloe noted, watching as Stacie told Mike the order for Beca. "I don't mean it in a bad way, either. You just look.. your age."

"Yeah, manual labor does that to you," she laughed. "How was your weekend?"

"Slow. I don't like this new shift. I already know I won't get to dote on you." She bit her lip. "I never got to ask you this on Saturday, but.. God, I feel like I am twelve. Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

Beca inhaled, looking down for a moment before meeting Chloe's eyes again, and the redhead knew what the answer was.

"You know what? Forget I asked that. How about we just focus on meeting up on Saturday to do something fun."

"About that.."

"You have to cancel, don't you?"

"Something came up, and I have to cover for a friend," Beca said, her voice sincere. "I promise I will make it up to you. Promise."

"It's fine," Chloe lied, masking the pain in her voice. "I was thinking about driving down and seeing my parents this weekend anyways. My mom will be happy she gets to see me." She looked over her shoulder, noting the food. "I am gonna go grab your hash browns." Wordlessly, she grabbed the plate and a fresh glass of water and set it on the table before disappearing into the back room, Stacie close on her heels.

"What happened?"

"I think I just fucked it up!" she said, letting the tears finally fall. "I thought things went really well over the weekend, so I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend, and I just knew by her face that she was going to say no and then something came up so she had to bail on Saturday. It's no wonder I am single.. I am horrible."

Stacie wrapped her arms around the redhead, gently rocking back and forth. "I still think it has something to do with her secret. Maybe she is trying to make it somewhere, and she is doing work under the table," Stacie offered, trying to get the woman to smile, frowning when she sobbed harder.

"I just started getting to know her, Stacie. How in the hell am I falling so hard?" she asked, sniffling.

"You are such a softie," Stacie replied. "Take your break, okay? I got your tables."

Chloe nodded and pulled off her apron, stepping out the back door into the fading light. A few minutes later, she turned when she heard footsteps approaching. Beca was walking towards her - cautiously - with a shy smile on her face. "Hey," she whispered.

"Hey," Chloe replied, wiping her eyes.

"Look, in there, I didn't mean to make it seem so.. mean."

"You don't have to explain yourself."

"I feel like I do, because I've told you that I watch.. I know Stacie is trying to figure out my secret, but I want to tell you that I don't have one. I just like to keep to myself, because I don't want anyone eventually getting hurt because of me, okay? It is nothing you did."

Chloe bit down on her lip.

"I have late afternoon on Sunday free.."

"So, we can go on dates, but you won't be my girlfriend?" she asked, harsher than intended.

"It's complicated."

Chloe nodded. "I'll call you and let you know when I am free," she replied, letting a smile on to her lips when Beca's face lit up. "I have to get back to work," she mumbled, stepping back towards the door, giving a small wave as Beca walked backwards for a few steps before jogging off.

-

Chloe felt horrible for making up some excuse to not see Beca, and kicked herself for deciding to take Stacie's shift from her on Monday. It was a busy afternoon and when she was about to take her break, four women came in, dressed in the camo uniforms from the nearby Air Force Base. Sighing and throwing on her smile, she walked over to the table. "How are you doing today?" she asked, hoping she didn't sound too artificial.

"We are waiting on one more.. the slowpoke," the blonde one said. Last name Anderson, according to her uniform. "And here she comes now."

Chloe turned, the air leaving her lungs when she saw Beca standing before her, dressed in the same uniform as the ladies at the table. "Beca?" she asked, trying to catch her breath.


	4. Chapter 4

"Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I was going to be pissed about it?" Chloe snapped, standing behind the restaurant, Beca staring straight ahead as the redhead paced. "Is that why you won't date me? Won't let me in? Because you have to be some badass Air Force.. person?"

Beca snorted. "Badass Air Force person? Chloe, I specialize in Aircraft Structural Maintenance. It isn't exactly a badass job."

"Why did you feel like you needed to hide this?" She couldn't hide the tears in her voice.

"I told you. I don't want people getting in, and getting hurt. I don't want to start something serious with you, then end up getting deployed. You don't get it, Chloe. There are some men in my unit that have lost their wives because of this. I admire the ones who have stuck with their men over the years. Jesse, one of the guys who works with me - he just got back from his third deployment, and I swear his wife Aubrey is the strongest person I know. I've heard nothing but how tough it is to keep a relationship going, and I don't want to.. I don't want to put someone through that. The worry."

"What? You think I am too weak to handle it?" she asked. "Beca, in case you haven't noticed, I've fallen. I am stuck caring about you, and it just got a little stronger now. Did you ever stop and think maybe having someone could help you?"

Beca looked at her, a confused look on her face.

"If you get deployed, you have me here. That gives you one really important reason to make sure you come home."

The brunette shook her head, her mouth a tight line. "Chloe, I am not budging on this."

"So you feel nothing for me?"

"That's unfair."

"How is that unfair? I've told you that I am falling for you and I want to be there for you, but you can brush it off so easily?"

Beca remained silent.

"You can't ignore it, can you?"

Silence.

"You don't get to waltz into my life, tell me I can take you on a date, and then push me away! You don't get to do that!" she yelled, tears in her eyes. Beca looked at the ground, her composure breaking for just a second before that expressionless look crossed her face again. "Say something," she mumbled.

"I've said all I think I need to say."

Chloe stomped her foot hard, letting out a frustrated yell. "Do you not realize that I already care too much? That I am standing here, begging you to let me care about you?"

"Chloe.."

The redhead's face softened, noticing that Beca was looking at the ground. "I didn't mean to yell."

Beca was silent for a moment before meeting Chloe's eyes. "Are you sure you want to get into this?" she asked.

Chloe hesitated. "Yes."

"See? That little pause? That is what makes me run away from this. If you were one hundred percent sure, you wouldn't have paused."

"Beca, please." She took the steps to close the gap between them, her hands grabbing either side of the smaller womans face and pulling her into a kiss, her hands sliding down to her waist as Beca pressed against her, almost desperate for the contact. "Please," she whispered, pulling back, resting their foreheads together. "I want you. If that means I run the risk of hurting in the long run, then I am willing to take it. I want to find out everything about you.. I want to be your escape from everything."

Beca sniffed, wiping the tears from the corner of her eyes as she let out a laugh. "You are so ungodly cheesy, you know that?"

"Does that mean you want to let me be your girlfriend?"

"Did I ever really have a choice in the first place?" she retorted, smirking before pressing her lips to the redheads again. "To be honest, I forgot how good it feels to have someone hold me," she mumbled, pressing herself closer to the redhead. "You cut people out and it gets lonely." She pulled back, ignoring the look on Chloe's face when she broke all contact. "I can't let you in. I can't let you get hurt."

"Beca."

"No. Please.. do not push this issue, okay? Maybe you fell fast.. but I am not there.. I am just.. maybe it is nice because it has been a few years since I have even considered letting someone in, but maybe you need time to think, too. Think about what you would be getting yourself in to and if you really do want that. Maybe you just think you started falling for me, Chloe. I'm sorry.. I really am.. this is why I didn't want you to know."

"What, so you could play up some other sense of a fucking relationship with me?" she snapped. "What good would that have done? Let me fall in love with you and then all of a sidden you just disappear? How would that have worked out in the end?"

"Chloe, I'm being deployed in two weeks. I was coming in at four in the morning because that was the only time I had outside of prep, okay? It stretches my time limit just coming here to see you, but I can't fucking hide it with you wanting something more! I am going to be gone for six months, and I don't.. I just.. I can't start something.. not with that looming over my head. I just.. I can't, okay? You need to accept that. And accept that you aren't falling, you just think you are. There is nothing more here than one date and some amazing kisses.. that is it. Nothing more!" Beca snapped, turning on her heel and taking off at a jog. Chloe fell back, leaning against the wall as she let Beca's words sink in. They hurt her, but they didn't change what her brain - and her heart - were telling her.

She had it bad for Beca, and she was going to spend the next two weeks proving it to her.


	5. Chapter 5

Beca didn't come in, or maybe she went back to her four in the morning meal. She didn't answer her phone, and Chloe was keeping an eye out for her buddies, just in the hopes of somehow getting a simple message to the brunette before she left. A message that told her Chloe had every single intention of writing her letters and sending her snacks and presents and making sure that Beca knew the redhead was not going to go anywhere. It took almost a week, but one of the other females was sitting at a booth when Chloe came in to work. Stacie was standing at the table, practically throwing herself at the woman, when Chloe approached. She glanced at the name on her chest before meeting her eyes. "Hart. I know that you know Beca and I know she is ignoring me. Do me a favor and next time you see her, tell her I am not giving up, no matter how stupid of a choice she thinks it may be, got it?" she snapped, immediately turning and walking to the back room to clock in.

"Rude, much?" Stacie asked, trying to sound annoyed despite the smirk on her face when Chloe reappeared. "Her name is Cynthia Rose, by the way," she added, leaning against the counter. "She said that Beca was telling the truth. They are leaving in just over a week. Somewhere in Iraq. So she wasn't using it as some form of escape."

Chloe put her head in her hands, taking a few deep breaths before she looked at her friend. "Do you think Beca is right? I didn't fall for her, I just thought I did?"

Stacie bit her lip.

"I am an idiot. You know what? Fuck today. I can't be here.. I can't focus." She went into the back, knocking on the door to the small office. "Jim, I feel like shit.." she trailed off, smirking when he simply waved his hand for her to go. "I'll come in on Sunday to make up the hours." She closed the door, grabbing her bag from her locker and walked out into the front, catching Stacie. "Where did your new friend go?"

"Outside."

Chloe nodded and headed out into the sunshine, tapping the woman on the shoulder. "Cynthia Rose, right?"

"Yeah," she responded. "Stacie figured you would be looking for me, so I waited. I would take you on base to see Beca, but there are one too many ways she could hurt me for doing that."

The redhead laughed, the smile on her face genuine. "Appreciate the thought.. but I just really need to make sure you get that message to her. I am not going to give up on showing her that I can handle this." She stopped for a minute. "So.. you and Stacie?"

The woman laughed, looking back towards the restaurant. "She's special," she replied. "Sweet, caring.. I wouldn't mind getting to come home to that." Her attention went back to Chloe. "I've known Beca for almost a year now. I think the only reason she talks to most of us on base is because we are the ones she will be with over there. It is like a family, almost. You train and study with these people, and you all get the call on the same day with your deployment date. You get six months of prep for it, and then you are gone for six months."

"Then what?"

"You get six months of downtime before you get the call again."

Chloe leaned against her car, looking at the ground. "And it just goes on and on in that circle for as long as you are enlisted?"

"Pretty much."

"Stacie likes you. Don't.. don't let me have to see her hurt, alright?" Chloe asked, looking at the other woman.

"I don't plan on it.. and I will let Beca know what you said."

Chloe smiled, waving as the woman took off walking towards the street. The redhead realized they didn't drive, instead having to jog or walk the five miles between downtown and the base. No wonder Beca had always looked so tired in the afternoons. Doing whatever it was they did all day and then jogging five miles just to get some hash browns? There was no way she could deny being at least slightly interested in Chloe after that.

She drove herself back to her apartment, falling onto the couch and closing her eyes. Her phone was what woke her up, groaning when she realized she had been asleep for over three hours. The phone was still buzzing on the counter, waiting to be answered. Moving slowly, she picked it up and swiped her thumb across the screen without paying attention. "Hello?" she mumbled, moving back to the couch.

"You don't get to order my friends around, you know," came the voice she had been aching to hear for a week. "So, you know, you better have something new to tell me instead of the shit you have been filling my inbox with."

Chloe took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "How about we say you were right, okay?"

A pause. "Huh?"

"That I only had the illusion of falling for you, but in reality, I didn't and I could go on and live a happy life without you in it."

"I'm confused."

"But just.. for one second.. how about we pretend like I am falling in love with you, and it has been killing me not being able to talk to you. It hurts, being pulled away from you against my will, Beca. And I know that if we were dating, it would be like the past week, but fifty times worse and for a fuck of a lot longer, but say that I am willing to suffer. I would put myself through the pain of not being able to see you or talk to you for six months, just so I can have the time when you come home to continue getting to know you. Hell, you don't even have to use the term girlfriend! Just let me send you a letter here and there, or maybe a care package. Pretend that you love having someone at home waiting for you, okay? Can we do that? I promise I am not going anywhere, and I will be right here when you get home."

The silence on the other end of the phone seemed to last for an eternity before she heard Beca inhale. "I have two hours that I can be off base tonight. I'm coming over."

Chloe stared at the phone as it disconnected, a mixture of thoughts in her head as to what was going to happen next.


	6. Chapter 6

Beca knocked on the door twenty minutes later, not looking exhausted, but definitely out of breath. Chloe let her in, quickly getting her a glass of water - a drink request that made more sense now - before leading her to the couch. "I am sorry that I seemingly forced Cynthia Rose to talk to you, but I didn't really have any other options."

The smaller woman took her time in taking a drink of water before she turned to Chloe, her dark blue eyes tinted with something the redhead didn't quite recognize. "I want you to full understand what this is going to be like," she started, setting the glass down on the table. "This is obviously not something I normally do, but it was the only thing I could think of." Beca leaned forward, pressing her lips to Chloe's, one hand coming up to tangle in her hair before pulling away slightly. "Six months with no kisses." Her free hand rested on Chloe's hip, toying with the hem of the shirt the redhead was wearing. "Tell me when to stop."

"Don't," Chloe breathed, her voice low.

Nodding, Beca slid her hand under the fabric, moving over the smooth skin slowly. "Six months without touching." She released her hold on Chloe's hair to unbutton the shirt, her eyes taking in the form. Her hand slowly moving over the bra, noting how Chloe arched her back as Beca's fingers slid over her nipples. "I need you to encourage this, Chloe, because this is something I am so unsure of.. that I am scared of.. and I have to know that you want this - need this - as much as I do."

Chloe decided, in that moment, instead of using words, she brought her hands up, pulling the tshirt off of the other woman before putting her lips to her neck, gently biting down on her pulse point, feeling heat race through her body as Beca moaned. Her fingers hooked into the belt loops, pulling the brunettes body closer to hers. "Bedroom," she mumbled, the couch not offering enough room for the contact she was craving. They stumbled to the bedroom, Chloe falling backwards onto the bed, Beca quickly climbing on top of her, pressing their bodies together, her fingers running gently over the scar on the redheads forehead.

"How'd you get that?" she asked, her fingers sliding down the womans cheek, to her neck, resting on her shoulder.

"I was seven," Chloe smiled. "I was playing basketball and there was some junk on the ground and I failed miserably at a layup and went face first into this pile of wood and metal and busted my head open. Twelve stiches."

Beca nodded, her hand suddenly continuing its journey south, playing with the strap on Chloe's bra. Wordlessly, the redhead leaned up, unhooking the back and watching as Beca slowly slipped it off. Chloe closed her eyes as Beca's hand began massaging one breast while her mouth immediately went to the other, licking and sucking until Chloe's back was arching off of the bed. "Too many clothes," Beca smirked, playing at the waistband of Chloe's pants. She undid the buttons, slowly pulling down the pants and the red underwear that matched the bra that was now on the floor.

She placed a soft kiss just above Chloe's ankle, then another slightly higher, her fingers trailing behind, almost tickling the skin. When her lips reached Chloe's inner thigh, she gently pushed her legs further apart, not wasting any time in sliding her fingers across the wetness, listening as the redhead inhaled sharply, her hands tangling in Beca's hair, almost pulling her closer. The brunette pushed two fingers into Chloe before closing her mouth around her clit, letting her tongue work the bud, becoming obsessed by the force with which Chloe was holding onto her hair, almost holdinf her in place. The redheads breath was coming in short gasps, almost whines, causing Beca to slow her pace, which earned her a firm tug from a fistful of hair.

Her fingers picked up their pace, her tongue matching it, feeding off of the throaty moans that were coming from the redhead. She could feel her tighten moments before her body went stiff, the most erotic scream-tuned-moan Beca had ever heard escaping her lips. Chloe took a moment to catch her breath, watching as Beca stripped herself of her remaining clothes, letting out a shocked yelp when the redhead pinned her to the bed, immediately dipping her head down, taking a nipple between her teeth, biting gently as she flicked her tongue over it, smirking against flesh as Beca's hips bucked.

Chloe ran her fingers over Beca's clit, slowly circling at a steady pace. The smaller woman let a sharp hiss out as Chlie bit down on her nipple as she slid her fingers into her, pushing her hand against the woman, her thumb keeping thecircular motions on her clit as her fingers stroked. Chloe could feel Beca's nails digging into the skin of her back, leaving burning paths in their wake. Her noises were addicting, driving her rhythm, bringing Beca to her orgasm, falling to the side of the woman, placing a soft trail of kisses from her shoulder to her neck, resting her chin on her shoulder and pulling the blanket over them.

They remained silent, Chloe drawing invisible circles on Beca's stomach, noting how the younger woman stared at the ceiling. "I'm scared," Beca whispered, almost twenty minutes later. Chloe didn't respond, instead placing her arm across Beca's waist, pulling her closer. "I knew when I enlisted that I might get deployed.. but I didn't know I was going to be this scared. But, the weird thing is, I am not scared for me. I am scared for you." She turned her head, looking at Chloe. "I am scared of how much you care about me, and I am scared of what it would do to you if I didn't come home."

"I don't let myself think about that."

Beca nodded slowly. "We can have friends and family come see us off at the base.. I want you to come, and I bet Cynthia Rose is going to tell Stacie to come, and we can introduce you to Aubrey. She can help you two out with how to cope with us being gone."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Chloe whispered, moving some hair from Beca's face. "You have to go back to base, don't you?" There was a hint of sadness in her voice that she couldn't hide.

"Yeah. But I have the two days before I leave that I can get a pass to be out overnight. There is an Inn that is for when visitors come into town. I'll get us a room and we can spend both days just like this," she replied, taking a few minutes to memorize the feel of the redheads arms around her. "I don't want to go. I don't want to go anywhere."

Chloe bit down on her lip, trying to stop the tears. If she let herself cry now, she knew it would be worse in the nights before Beca's deployment. "We can do this," she mumbled. "I'll spend my days at work and come sit in front of my computer in the hopes you get the free moments to Skype. I will send you cookies and pictures and letters. I will be your reason to come home."

"Promise?" Beca asked, her voice barely above a whisper. It didn't hide the amount of fear that had laced its way into the words.

"I promise."


	7. Chapter 7

Chloe didn't go to Aubrey's house. It wasn't that she didn't get along with the blonde woman, because she did. Aubrey was kind of like the older sister Chloe had always wanted. Someone who could give her advice when she was feeling down. After all, Aubrey had been where Chloe was now. Scared, afraid to watch the news. Chloe didn't watch the news, despite a sudden urge to. It wasn't like the news was going to tell her that Beca was fine and dandy. If anything, the news would only tell her local information and stories, nothing as big as international items.

The first time Chloe saw Beca's face after she left was almost a month and a half into her deployment. She had developed a habit of sleeping with her laptop on, open and facing the bed with the volume all the way up. She thought she had been dreaming when she heard the call noises from Skype, but opening her eyes, sure enough, there was the incoming call. She clicked accept, pulling the blanket tighter around her as a pixelated image of Beca's face filled her computer screen. "Hey, sleepyhead." The image was slightly broken, skipping as the audio cracked, but there was no mistaking the smile on Beca's face when she spoke.

"Hi," Chloe mumbled, her voice groggy from sleep. "I miss you."

"You have no idea how much I miss you," Beca replied, her fingers reaching for the screen, causing Chloe to smile, knowing the other woman was touching the image on the screen. "It has been boring as shit over here. Basically, if we don't go do anything.. the aircraft doesn't break, and if it isn't breaking, I don't have anything to do. I'm sorry it took so long for me to be able to call you. We have patrols that we do, and they take a while, and I have been trying to get used to a completely different sleep schedule than I usually have."

Chloe remained silent, her eyes trained on the image. From what she could tell, Beca looked tired. Not just in need of sleep, but physically exhausted. She was laying down, more than likely on some cot in a tent with the rest of her squad.

"Have you been going to Aubrey's?" she asked.

"No." Chloe sighed. "I just find it easier to lock myself up in my apartment when I am not in class or at work. I don't turn the television on. I don't read the papers. I never realized how much of the traffic at work was from the base. They moved Stacie and I back to midnights. Manager took pity on us, I guess. Would rather have us moping around when there is no one there or something."

"You should at least meet up with her somewhere, Chlo. She can help you. She has been right there. I am not saying talk to her and spill how you feel. I am just saying spend time with her. I don't want you sitting around alone."

Chloe watched as Beca looked off to the side before back at the computer screen. "I have to go." She paused for a second. "Chloe?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I.. I love you, too," she replied, biting down on the inside of her lip as the screen went black. Slamming the computer shut, she closed her eyes, letting the tears she had been holding in for almost two months finally fall as violent sobs wracked her body. Beca was right. She should go see Aubrey, even if no talking happened. She pulled her phone to her, quickly highlighting Aubrey's name before hitting call, hoping that what the woman had said about no matter the time would stand true. "Aubrey? It's Chloe.. I know it is late.. but I can't be alone right now.." she choked out. A quick mumble of a promise to be there in ten minutes had her forcing herself out of bed and to a sitting position by the front door, blanket wrapped around her.

She reached up, unlocking the door, when Aubrey knocked on it ten minutes later. The blonde woman looked down, closing the door behind her and dropping to her knees, wrapping her arms around the redhead. "It's okay. You are allowed to cry," she whispered, rocking them back and forth. "What happened?" she asked, pulling back to look Chloe in the eye.

"I got to talk to Beca on Skype, and she said she loved me. We hadn't said it before, and it just broke something in me. I made it until she hung up to break down crying, and I didn't know what else to do, so I called you. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was just.. you said that if I ever needed you to just call and you would be there, and I didn't want to be alone, because I am so sick of being alone."

Aubrey reached into her bag, pulling out a window decal, holding it up for Chloe to see. "This gets you on and off the base without a miltary ID, okay? I want you to put it in your car, and you are more than welcome to come stay the night whenever you need to. If you get off work at six in the morning and don't want to come back to this empty apartment, you come over, you knock on my door, and you can sleep in the guest room, understand?" she asked, her voice having a calming effect on the redhead. "No matter what time, and no matter how silly you think the reason is, I am there."

Chloe wiped her eyes before taking the decal and looking at it. "How do you do it? How do you handle Jesse being gone?"

The blonde smiled, leaning against the wall with Chloe. "I put all of my time and energy into making sure that the first timers are alright. If I focus on their pain enough, it dulls mine. This time, though, it is easier."

"How?"

"This is Jesse's last deployment. He passed on the option to re-enlist last month, so when his eight years are up about two months after he gets home, that's it. We get to move somewhere that isn't a base.. maybe even start a family, finally," she said, her hand resting on her stomach. "Well, not maybe on that," she added. "That is going to be our little secret. It will be a nice surprise for him. I just found out the other day."

Chloe couldn't stop the smile that was on her face as she threw her arms around Aubrey's neck, mumbling a congratualtions as she held on tight. "What am I going to do without you next time?" she asked, her voice muffled.

"You'll be fine," she replied, gently rubbing Chloe's back. "You will know what to expect, and maybe you can even help out someone just like you."


	8. Chapter 8

The bell signaling a new customer rang, pulling Stacie and Chloe out of their dazes. It took only a moment before Chloe was rounding the counter, her arms wrapping around Beca's neck, holding on for dear life, trying to convince herself that it was real - that Beca was home, safe and sound. From the corner of her eye, she saw Stacie, her forehead pressed to Cynthia Rose's, tears in both of their eyes. "When did you get back?" she mumbled, her face buried in Beca's hair.

"We were cleared to leave base about an hour ago," she replied, pulling Chloe tighter against her. "I knew I was going to miss this, but I didn't know just how much I missed your arms - your everything, actually - until this very moment right here." She kissed the side of Chloe's head, not wanting to let go. Beca reluctantly pulled back, looking over at Cynthia Rose for a moment, giving a small nod, before turning back to the redhead. "When did you hear from Aubrey last?" she asked, her voice cautious.

"Three weeks ago. We've been trying to get a hold of her.." Chloe's voice trailed off, looking at the pain in Beca's eyes.

"There was an accident.. Jesse.. he.." Beca choked out, closing her eyes and pulling Chloe to her once again. "Chloe, I want to marry you," she mumbled. "Because I want you living on base. I want you to be informed if something happens to me. I don't want to have to wait for clearance to leave base to come see you when I come home. Say yes, and we can be married before I even get the call for my next deployment date. I just.. I don't want to wait and dawdle and dream.. I don't want to push something back, because I don't want to be too late." She pulled back. "Who says we can't be engaged and still get to know each other?" Beca whispered, her forehead pressed to Chloe's.

The redhead realized that the other two women had gone to the other side of the empty restaurant, Stacie mumbling yes over and over as her arms wrapped tightly around Cynthia Rose's neck. "Double proposal, double wedding?" Chloe whispered, her eyes meeting Beca's. "I want to marry you," she replied, smiling. "Yes. I will marry you." She remained silent for a moment, her fingers twisting the fabric of Beca's clothes. "Is Aubrey doing okay?"

Beca shook her head. "Her pregnancy isn't in danger, but I am worried about her emotional state. She closed herself off.. I thought I was going to have to bust down the door to the house to make sure she hadn't done anything stupid." She moved to her usual booth, joining Cynthia Rose and Stacie, who had their hands interlocked. "His funeral is in three days."

Chloe noted that upon the mention of the funeral, Stacie's hands held tighter to Cynthia Rose's, her eyes closing. "This makes it more real," Cynthia Rose said, moving one arm to wrap it around Stacie's shoulders, pulling her close. "I thought this was really something I wanted, but then you get out there, and it is terrifying.. because you don't know what is coming at you next."

"It is basically just like sitting and waiting for something to happen," Beca whispered. "Running patrols.. Jesse.. he said he was having trouble with his display, and fuck, I swear I could feel it at base. I could feel that jet hit the ground. We could just see this plume of smoke. He had tried to eject, but it was too close to the ground, and he couldn't get the stupid chute to open." Beca closed her eyes, roughly wiping away the tears. At a loss for words, Chloe turned in the seat and wrapped her arms around the younger woman, holding her tightly.

-

It rained the day they buried Jesse. Her left hand was being held tightly by Aubrey, her eyes finding Beca's in the grouping of men and women in their uniforms, not covered by the covering. Her eyes were locked forward, and Chloe knew the rain was masking the womans tears. From the corner of her eye, she saw the seven men readying their guns. She felt Aubrey jump in time with her as each shot rang out. The flag being folded, then placed into Aubrey's arms. Taking Aubrey home, helping her into pajamas and then to her bed, sitting on the edge of it, her hand brushing hair from the blondes face. "Beca and I are going to be right in the other room, okay? Call if you need either of us, for anything," she whispered, unable to mask the tears in her own voice. The blonde nodded, closing her eyes as she reached her hand to the nightstand, resting her fingers on the folded flag.

She slowly made her way to the second bedroom in the house, finding Beca standing by the window, the towel from her shower still wrapped around her body. Chloe walked up behind her, sliding her arms around her waist and kissing her shoulder. Beca turned, her eyes already refilling with tears. "She in bed?"

"Yeah," Chloe responded, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against Beca's. "I thought about something a lot today, and I know it might make the both of us cry more, but I feel like I have to say it."

The brunette led them to the bed, dropping the towel and pulling the covers around her as she crawled into the bed. Chloe stripped out of her dress before joined her fiance.

"I am scared shitless for you to leave again. I never thought that thing was going to be easy, but I guess I came in to this with no idea what I was doing. You were gone for six months, and in that time, I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt lost and alone, and part of me hated you for letting me in. Because you were right, Beca. This is something I was not prepared for, but it is a learning experience for me, and if anything, I just love you more. It takes someone brave to do what you do, knowing the risks, and it is something that I wouldn't ask you to ever stop doing, if you didn't want to. If I spend the rest of my life as an Air Force wife, I am okay with that." She took a breath. "Aubrey told me something a few months ago that really stuck with me."

"What was that?"

"She always found it slightly easier to deal with Jesse being away because she was so focused on helping the first timers with their pain. But there is a flaw in that. If you keep blocking yourself off from pain, eventually it will hit you so hard that you don't know what to do with yourself. I don't want to block my pain when you are gone. I want to curl up and cry and scream and miss you and yell about how you are so stupid for doing what you do. I want to throw shit around my apartment and destroy everything in anger and sadness. I want to feel every single ounce of emotion my body can throw at me, because I know that the second I get to hold you again will make it all worth it. I love you."


	9. Chapter 9

When Chloe was little, she always imagined her wedding day. A tall, strong man standing at the altar waiting for her. When she was a teenager, her tall and strong man became a woman. Three days after turning twenty, what her view was topped anything in her dreams. Standing on a beach, the Atlantic ocean trying to lap at their feet, she stood in front of Beca - who was in her dress blues - just waiting for her one lifelong dream to come true. Her words flowed as natural as the waves, sliding a simple silver band onto Beca's finger, watching as a matching one was slid on to her own, their lips meeting for the first time as a married couple.

She could almost pretend that Beca wasn't leaving again in two weeks. Almost.

It was given in little hints around her apartment. Her life was changing. Boxes scattered the living room, Cynthia Rose or Beca appearing to carry them down to a truck. Stacie in the kitchen, wrapping up plates and glasses in newspaper, stopping to give Cynthia Rose a kiss each time the woman reappeared. The past two years of her life were being emptied from underneath her, moved miles down the road.

She didn't work at the restaurant.

She only had three classes a week.

She was married.

She was an Air Force wife.

Sitting down on the couch, she fiddled with her wedding band, her eyes unfocused as she looked straight ahead. The house that Beca and Cynthia Rose had somehow managed was shared. It shared one wall, and a porch. Neighbors. They had thought it might have be easier on the two women to be so close while they were gone. Chloe agreed. Having her best friend less than one hundred feet away was going to be what might save her life.

She looked up as she felt movement next to her, offering a smile as Beca looked at her. "Are you okay?" she asked, her voice low.

"I was just thinking about.. everything. I got an e-mail this morning from Aubrey. JJ is getting bigger with every single picture," she replied, smiling as she pulled her phone out, pulling up the picture of Aubrey's son. "Hard to believe he is almost nine months old already. She said he can pull himself up on the table without any help, and he is trying to walk."

"I want a baby. I want us to have one. I want us to have a family, so when my eight years is done, I can leave somewhere with you and a little one.. and we can be happy and safe," Beca said, her fingers tangling with Chloe's free hand. She opened her mouth but snapped it shut just as fast.

"At the same time, you don't.. because of Jesse," Chloe offered, giving her hand a squeeze.

"Chloe, I'm not even over there again yet and during the day I have to block every single thought of you from my mind, because then I start thinking about everything that could go wrong. I have to try so hard to pretend like you don't even exsist," she said, her gaze on the floor. "I never wanted a life like this.. with someone to come home to, wanting a family.. that's why I enlisted. I wanted to be by myself for the rest of my life, never having to live up to anyone elses expectations. I could do what I want, act how I want and just.. be alone."

Chloe remained silent, her eyes focused on her wife.

"Then, as cliche as it is, you entered my life, and everything was just thrown around. I had this sense of stability with my enlistment. I knew what to expect. I was trained to know what to expect. But they don't train you for something like this. I.. I saw Aubrey and Jesse at their worst. Their fights. He was originally going to go for another four years, and Aubrey.. she threatened to leave him if he did. She made him choose, and he chose his wife, and to this day, I believe that was the right choice. I automatically have eight years, because genius me decided that when I enlisted, but when it comes time and they ask me if I want more, if you want me home, I will say no and come with you, no questions asked. You are the most important thing to me in this world, and I want you to constantly remind me of that when I am gone."

"I'll write you ten letters a week if I have to," she whispered.

"I thought it would be easier to leave this time," she mumbled. "But if anything, it is so much harder. Part of me wants to just take you and run away, but I can't. I chose this life, and I have to.. I have to be strong, right? Because if I am not strong, then it can get worse so much faster."

Chloe shook her head. "I am not going to let myself think about that. I am sorry if it sounds like I am just brushing all this off, but I have to. You are surrounded by people who are going through the same thing as you while Stacie and I are here, terrified to turn on the television or pick up a newspaper. We sleep with our computers open to Skype when you are gone, just waiting for that tiny moment where you get to call us, just so we can see your faces. With Aubrey across the country, I don't have my rock anymore. I'm dealing with this in the only way I can see that will work for me in the long run. I am never going to ask you how you feel when you come home, because I know that I could never understand."

Beca returned her gaze to the ground.

"It doesn't mean that I have ever stopped caring, though, because I've tried not to care. I tried not to care before you even left the first time. Clearly, that plan didn't work. But the only way I would ever be able to understand what you do and what you go through, would be to do it myself, and I am not a strong enough person for that. I don't know how you cope, and I just want me to replace whatever it is. I want you to know that I am here and I am not going anywhere, Beca. I am never going anywhere now. I made a promise to you, and I am going to keep it, through anything life throws at us, okay?"

Beca nodded, wiping tears from her eyes before pulling Chloe to her, holding her tightly. "We should get the rest of these boxes down and over to the house," she mumbled, the change of subject unable to hide the sadness in her voice. Chloe nodded, holding Beca tighter, neither woman moving from the couch.


	10. Chapter 10

Beca;

I know you have only been gone two days, but I wanted to get started on these letters because I know they might take a while to get to you. I couldn't keep my head focused on my Psych lecture this morning. I was thinking about you, and how our last night together went. I know, a bad thing to think about in the middle of class, right? The professor saw I was daydreaming, but knowing my situation, I think that might have been why he let it slide. I have a paper that I should be writing at the moment, but you are more important to me right now.

Stacie got a kitten yesterday. She said her and Cynthia Rose were very, very serious about starting the steps to have a baby when you guys get home, and she has this idea that if she can keep both the plants and an animal alive by herself for six months, she would feel better about having a baby. It's this cute little fluffball she named Monkey because she likes to try and climb everything. Maybe we should get a pet. It would give me something to do besides figure out why in the hell I am trying to do something with my life anymore.

The bed is lonely without you. I hate that we waited so close to your deployment to get married. I didn't get nearly enough nights next to you before you left. The bed is already failing to smell like you. I know that sounds weird, but I love it. It is a mixture of that shampoo that smells like peppermint.. and metal. Metal isn't something you would expect to love the smell of, but it reminds me of you. How when you come home after a long day, and you just look so tired and your dirty and instead of going right to the shower, you find me, and you hold me.

I miss it. I miss you. I love you.

Chloe.

-

Becaw.

I know that might make you smile or cry, but Aubrey told me that Jesse used to call you that. She flew out to visit with JJ. He is getting so big! He babbles and babbles, and he can walk now. He looks just like Jesse, and I think that really, really hurts Aubrey. But I have never seen someone look at another human with so much love. That little boy is her world, and I think she could be anywhere and as long as she had JJ with her, she would be content.

I got us a kitten. She is seven weeks old and she is all black with the greenest eyes I have ever seen. I don't know what to name her, so I think she believes her name is kitty or get down. Aubrey helped me rearrange the living room, and we finally got a new television. You'll love it. It's a big fifty inch one. We actually ventured out on Black Friday to get it. I got you a lot of presents, some I will be sending next week. Others.. you just have to wait and see until you get home.

It's late, and I have an early class tomorrow, but I promise I will send you another letter soon. I love you, Beca.

Chloe.

-

Beca;

It is three weeks until Christmas. You should be here for our first Christmas as a married couple. Not somewhere halfway around the world where I can't wake up on Christmas morning and kiss you and hold you and love you. I hate that you are gone, Beca. I want you home. I know you want to be home. I wish there was a way this could happen. I think, if I did my math correctly, you will be home next Christmas. That makes me smile. We just need to get there.

Aubrey is going to fly back out for Christmas. She doesn't want Stacie and I to be alone, and we haven't really been able to make friends with the other wives. We are so young compared to most around here, and Stacie has been working nothing but overtime just so she doesn't have to be alone. I picked up a coupld more classes for the next semester, maybe because I don't like being alone either.

I'm sorry I am not writing you ten letters a day, but I think one a week is definitely enough. I got your first letter yesterday. I slept with it under the pillow. I put it in my backpack, tucked safely between books. It's like keeping a part of you with me. I love you. Five more months.

Chloe.

-

Beca;

I don't know how I feel today. I woke up, and everything was fine, but then around noon, something just hit. I felt a sadness that I didn't know how to explain when Stacie asked me what was wrong. I just.. I felt sad. I crawled into bed and slept until almost eleven. I think Stacie is worried about me, but she doesn't know how to ask.

Even if she did ask, I wouldn't know what to say. Two weeks until Christmas. I love you.

Chloe.

-

Beca.

It's Christmas.

I thought it would be easy if I didn't think about it.

Aubrey is in the other room with Stacie and JJ. I can hear them laughing as JJ opens his presents. Stacie got me some movies I had been wanting. Aubrey woke me up before Stacie came over this morning to give me my present. A photo album. It is filled with pictures of you and Jesse, and you and her, and your squad. We cried over it, Beca. Aubrey is never going to get to see Jesse again.. never get to feel his arms around her. When you come home, I am not letting you go unless I have to.

I wish we lived somewhere that it snows. Can we move North when you get out? I want to take our kids sledding and build snowmen and wait to see if there are reindeer tracks on the roof on Christmas morning. I want that life, Beca, not this one. Not writing you letters for six months because you aren't here.

I miss you. I love you.

Chloe.

-

Beca,

I forgot to write you for a month, and I don't know why. I think it was a mixture of the new semester starting and I just.. I didn't know what to say. I am so sorry. I hope you can forgive me.

I fell asleep on the couch over at Stacie's last night. We were having a movie night, and I just zonked out on the couch and woke up with a pain in my neck this morning. But Stacie had made breakfast, so that made up for it. They need a better couch. She is going to stay over here tonight, and we are going to try and get some care packages together for you guys. Four more months until you are home.

I have been really hesitant in making this place feel like home. I want the both of us to have a say in it. Stacie has all but the bedroom done next door. I cannot wait until you come home, Beca, because this isn't even a home. This is the shell of a building and I am the shell of a fucking human. I miss you so much that I have started crying myself to sleep. I think I can only get one or two more letters out before they will just end up getting to you after you are home, so I don't see the point.

I love you, Beca, so hold on to that.

Chloe.

-

Beca;

This will be my last letter before I see you again, and I don't know how to make it special. All I can do is repeat everything I have said in my previous ones. I love you, I miss you and life has absolutely sucked without you here, and I cannot wait to have you home. The nights are the worst. It gets so quiet, and then the sun comes up and I realize I never slept so I am just dragging through my classes. I won't be taking any classes in the fall. I think I need to take a break from it.

I would rather focus on our life than school. It doesn't provide enough of a distraction. I want to just.. I feel like I am a zombie when you aren't here. Come home. Please.

I love you.

Chloe.


	11. Chapter 11

"We have something to tell you," Cynthia Rose said, watching as Stacie sat down on the couch next to Chloe and Aubrey, laughing as JJ crawled into her lap. "Babe?"

Stacie smiled, her face brightening. "I'm pregnant!" she exclaimed. Aubrey immediately wrapped her arms around the younger woman, looking at Chloe, who had a smile on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes. Stacie caught the look before she could hide it. "Another negative?" she asked, her voice suddenly less joy-filled. Chloe nodded, looking at the floor. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Maybe it just isn't meant to be, you know? So you two have a girl and then I have someone else besides JJ to spoil," she said, turning to look at Cynthia Rose. "I really am happy for the both of you."

"I wouldn't doubt that for a second," Stacie responded, frowning as Chloe got up.

"I just.. I have to go in the other room and look for my phone or something," she said, quickly walking to the bedroom, Aubrey waving Beca back when she moved to follow. The blonde made sure JJ was alright with Stacie before letting herself into the bedroom and closing the door behind her.

Chloe looked up, not trying to hide the tears on her face. "It took Jesse and I five years to get one the natural way. It takes time," she said, sitting on the bed next to the redhead.

"What if there is something wrong with me?" she asked. "Two times.."

Aubrey kissed the side of her head, holding her close. "You and Beca will have a baby, when the time is right. And you two are going to show it so much love that the wait is going to be worth it. I can feel it," she replied. "It's going to be okay."

Chloe nodded, standing up and leading the way back into the room, noticing that Beca was on the phone. "Again?" Chloe asked, noting the slow speed in which Beca had put the phone down. Beca nodded, letting out a poof of air with the force Chloe wrapped her arms around her with. "I don't want you to go again." Beca remained silent, pulling Chloe tightly to her. The silence was heavy in the room, Stacie handed JJ to Aubrey and running to the bathroom when the faint sound of the phone next door could be heard ringing. Cynthia Rose disappeared next door, Aubrey going to check on Stacie.

"We knew this was going to happen," Beca said, her voice even, despite the tears in her eyes. "We knew this was coming."

"It doesn't make it any less hard to let you go," Chloe whispered, pulling back to look in her wifes eyes. There was a thump from the next unit, Chloe's eyes widening. "She isn't going to be here when their baby is born."

"That will make it all the more amazing when we come home," Beca whispered, the tears showing in her voice.

Chloe didn't sleep that night, and if the cries she heard from the next unit were any indication, neither did Stacie.

-

"Beca!" Chloe yelled, running into the house, causing the sleeping woman on the couch to jump up. "Beca!"

"What? What happened?" she asked, her voice filled with sleep. Chloe jumped onto the couch, pressing her lips to her wife. "What?"

"We're gonna be parents. A month after you come home, we are going to be parents!" she yelled, kissing her wife again.

Beca sat up, her arms wrapping around Chloe's waist. "Yeah?" she asked, her voice still sleepy, despite looking wide awake as she looked at the redheads stomach. "There's a baby in there? Now?"

Chloe laughed. "That is usually how it works, yes. There is a tiny, little baby growing in there.." her voice trailed off. "So now you have to make sure to come home."

The smiles dropped from both of their faces, tears suddenly filling Chloe's eyes. "Chlo.."

"I shouldn't have let my brain go there," she said, closing her eyes. "That was so stupid."

Beca shook her head, kissing Chloe's cheek. "No, you needed to go there. It's natural. Normal. If you hadn't brought that up, you know you would have had to before I left."

The redhead sat back, looking at their hands as Beca intertwined their fingers, coming to a rest on Chloe's stomach.

"No matter what happens, this baby is gonna be so loved, whether it is with one parent or two," Beca whispered. "I don't regret this choice, knowing my line of work and the risks involved. I will never regret it. This is what we want in life, Chloe. We want a family. And we are going to be so happy that we are getting that family. We won't dwell on the possibilities of what could happen, understand?" she asked, meeting the blue eyes that were swimming with tears. Chloe nodded. "I love you."

-

Life can be a blur. Beca and Cynthia Rose spent two months almost never at home, preparing for the next deployment, leaving Chloe and Stacie home alone. Then they were gone, off halfway around the world again, and it was Chloe that Stacie was calling for at three in the morning. Baby was on the way. Julia arrived at ten minutes after nine, loud and healthy, Chloe trying to regain the feeling in her hand as Stacie admired her daughter. The next day, Chloe put a letter in the mail for Beca, including a picture of the baby for Cynthia Rose.

When Julia was two months old, Aubrey came to visit again, itching to see the new baby. Chloe, almost six months pregnant, felt safer when the blonde was around, sitting on the porch with JJ and Julia, the sun shining down on them.

Aubrey was the first to look up at an approaching car, her phone dropping to the ground, a soft, "no," escaping her lips. Two men emerged from the black car, walking slowly up the walkway, their faces somber.

Chloe felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. This had to have been the way Aubrey felt when the car arrived in front of her house. Aubrey, however, had known. This time, there were options. Beca. Cynthia Rose. She found herself thinking Not Beca, Not Beca over and over, at the same time fearing for Stacie.

They stopped just shy of the porch and held out an envelope.


	12. Chapter 12

Chloe stood on the tarmac, one hand tightly holding onto Stacie's, the other to Aubreys, watching the plane come to a stop. Her mind was blank, Stacie's scream as she took the envelope still fresh in her mind. The ave of relief that it wasn't Beca, quickly followed by the pain tht her best friend had lost her love. Julia would never get to meet the one person in the world who had been so excited to see her.

The wooden box, draped in a flag, was slowly removed from the cargo bay. They had been attacked, caught off guard. Cynthia Rose had gone back to help her squad. She had saved two lives before losing her own. Chloe's breath caught in her throat at the figure walking - hobbling on crutches would be more accurate - next to the soldiers carrying the case. Beca. Beca was hurt.

The brunette looked at Chloe first, giving a small shake of her head, before freeing herself of one crutch and wrapping her arm around Stacie. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say," she choked out, holding tightly to the woman. Aubrey quickly moved to Stacie's side, leaving Chloe and Beca facing each other. "I told them not to tell you," she explained. "I demanded it. I knew.. I knew you would have your hands full already."

Chloe's hands were frozen at her sides, her brain trying to remember how to breathe.

"My leg.. it's pretty much useless," she said, gesturing down. "It got hit by a chunk of metal, and if Cynthia Rose had not thought to wrap it, I wouldn't be here. It's my fault. I got hurt, and she stopped to help me." There was something in Beca's voice, something beyond pain. "It was my fault."

The redhead finally got her body moving, wrapping her arms around Beca's neck, letting herself cry. She didn't know what to say, but she didn't think anything would actually help her wife at that moment.

"There is a sliver of good news," Beca mumbled as the reluctantly pulled apart, slowly making their way to the car. "I can't be deployed again. I have two months off, then I will be back to work, since I can still do the brunt of everything, but I cannot be deployed again. I never have to go back."

-

Stacie moved back in with her parents three days later. Close enough that Chloe could go see her, far enough away from everything that was destroying her. After the funeral, she showed Chloe the container that her dad had built to store the flag in. It sat on a shelf in the spare room, right over Julia's crib. They had just returned downstairs, Chloe taking two steps towards Beca before she felt dizzy. She thought she had called out, but she couldn't remember.

It was some amount of time later when her eyes opened, Beca looking down at her, tired, with a small smile on her face. Something was wrong. She was in the hospital. Pain was creeping its way in. "Beca?"

"Hey," her wife whispered, kissing her knuckles. "You passed out."

"The baby.."

"She got here a little earlier than planned. But she is healthy. I wish you could have heard her crying when they took her out. She has a damn good set of lungs on her."

"Where is she?"

"They have her in the NICU. She was small, so they want to monitor her. Chlo.. you lost a lot of blood," she said, kissing her hand again. "But the doctors say you are going to be fine."

Chloe tried to sit up, groaning at the sharp pains.

"You gotta stay laying down right now, baby, okay? In the morning we can go down and you can see her." Beca smiled. "What are we gonna name her?"

"Serenity. I want to name her Serenity. But I want you to pick her middle name," Chloe replied, watching as a nurse came in and injected something into her IV. In a few moments, she felt her head getting heavy. "I'm sleepy."

"Sleep. I promise tomorrow we can go see her.. we can see Serenity."

Chloe nodded, letting her eyes close. When she woke again, the same nurse was standing by her bed. "Where's Beca?" she mumbled.

"Down with your daughter," she replied, a smile on her face. "I've been told to bring you down."

Chloe tried to sit up slowly, ignoring the smaller amounts of pain as the woman helped her into a wheelchair and led her down the hall. They stopped in a small room, washing their hands, before going into the room. It was quiet, and Chloe could hear Beca mumbling, her arm stretching into the plastic around the small baby, the smile evident on her face.

"Your mama said I could give you a middle name, and I stayed up all night thinking," Beca said, turning to look as Chloe watched her. "It was a really, really hard choice, but I think I settled on something the three of us can be happy with."

The redhead slipping her arm in beside Beca's, smiling as tiny fingers curled around her pinky.

"Your full name is Serenity Hope Mitchell."

"Why Hope?" Chloe asked, her voice quiet.

"Because looking at her.. it gives me hope that everything is going to be alright from here on out."


End file.
